Yes, I said what I said. I need to be a better friend to myself, and I am sure in some ways you need to be a better friend to yourself too. End of story. 

Of course not the end of this story, but hear me out. Think about the kind of friend you are right now. Not the type of friend you were at 10 and not the type of friend you were a few months ago. If you have been on a self improvement journey, like myself, take the time and really think about the kind of friend you are right now. 

If you’re anything like me, not to toot my own horn or anything, you are a dope friend to have in any corner. That’s not to say you are always the best friend, but the friendship you offer is truly irreplaceable. The lengths you would go to help a friend are sometimes questionable, but they are always with good intentions. You give a lot of yourself as a friend.

You are motivating. You are encouraging. You are forgiving. You tell jokes. You offer help. You buy gifts. You plan outings. You make trips. You offer safe spaces. You allow mistakes. You are loyal.

But are you all of those things to yourself? Do you give yourself the same grace? Do you give yourself the same support? Do encourage yourself? Speak life into yourself? Are you creating safe spaces for YOU? 

It all starts with you. What you can control is how you treat yourself, what you speak to yourself, and who you allow to affect you. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. What matters is that in every situation you try and do better. 

Take a moment and really brag on yourself and all that you offer to those around you. There is something about you that at least one other person in this world needs… so be a better friend to yourself. The world needs it. 

Update via 2023: So when I first wrote this in October of 2022, I was in a dark space. The thing is that I had been a dark space for a very long time. I wrote a letter to myself on why I felt I had served my purpose in this world. Even though I did not want to physically end my own life, the thoughts of escaping this world and freeing those around me of my burdens were real. I wrote about how much better off everyone would be even though they would be mad at first. I wrote about my dog finding a family that would love her. I wrote about accomplishing everything I planned and having nothing else to look forward to because I couldn’t imagine anything else. Because “I” couldn’t see it for myself. It didn’t matter if everyone else in the world could see it for me, I couldn’t see it myself. How was I supposed to move forward when I couldn’t see what was in front of me?

So I asked a friend. And in return she asked me, “Why do you need to see anything, don’t you have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to?” Why can’t I walk by faith? And I realized that I had lost myself. I had lost the idea of anything being possible. I was at a point in life where all of the realities of the world were hitting me from all angles, and I felt scared. I felt limited. I felt defeated. And at some point I just stopped seeing the possibilities. I stopped giving myself options. I stopped motivating myself. I stopped giving myself grace. I stopped being my own safe space. I stopped being my own friend. I let myself sit with my thoughts and took time to ask myself why I wasn’t being gentle with myself like I am with my friends when they come to me with problems. I understand tough love, but I was just being tough. 

About a week later I wrote in my phone notes how I needed to be a better friend to myself. I spoke life into myself, and I continued to speak life into myself everyday even if I didn’t believe the things I was saying to myself. Just this morning I told myself, I can’t wait to see all of the great things that I can’t even imagine present themselves to me because I deserve it. It felt so good to say, and I know it felt so good because I really meant it. I started being a better friend to myself, and it made all of the difference. So have a serious talk with yourself, and see if you need to be a better friend to you too.